Welcome, Justice Department

So an interesting thing happened the other day… not that I’m surprised, but I guess I should’ve seen it coming.

About a dozen different unique IDs from the Justice Department out of Sacramento, California, spent anywhere from 2-20 minutes on my website poking around.

You see, I have Google Analytics embedded in my website, which allows me to track traffic coming in to the site – including city, state, how long someone was there, etc. After noticing a huge increase in visits from Sacramento, I decided to see what their network location was. And up popped:

Department of Justice, CA

Now for most people, this would be troubling – who wants the Department of Justice or the State of California Attorney General looking into you? No doubt it was in response to some of my discovery requests for my clients, heaven forbid I’d want to inspect the vehicle that they claim was able to pass smog at 20 degrees BTDC…  right guys, whatever you say. Those NOx’s would have been within range, absolutely.

So why then? No opposing counsel is based in Sacramento, they’re all in satellite offices in other cities. So who in God’s name is so interested in my firm from Sacramento? And to the tune of a dozen unique visitors?

Well, let’s clear the air. Hi. Hello. How are you? I only have one message for you…

The party is over.

I’m the asshole who will file 16 motions to compel to make you produce that car, the inspection reports, and the alleged “flying colors” passing numbers ‘car X’ had when it was inspected by a “Bureau of Automotive Repair employee” who signed an affidavit stating he performed a passing smog inspection on said vehicles. I will require you to demonstrate the timing procedure used for a car that is OBD I and hidden from view by pumps and belts, wondering how you were able to check the timing on said car, and how a car would even run with some of the setups you allege.

Why? Because this has gone on long enough. I’m tired of you sending in impossible to discover defective cars to shops, nailing them with citations, and refusing to turn over evidence without a court order. I’m tired of you putting guys out of their shops, on the street, taking their jobs and their livelihoods… all in the name of padding your stats so your budget doesn’t get cut.

I’m sick of seeing good shops and techs get railroaded by the Bureau of Automotive Repair, all in the name of protecting consumers from the shop who can’t find a nickel sized PCV valve in a 1988 vacuum line infested, hidden under the intake, Alldata has no schematics, emissions label removed by you, POS.

I don’t blame the Attorney Generals office, after all, the bureau tells you he didn’t check a gas cap, so pull his license and fine him $10,000.00 for the cost of investigation, who are you to say that the bureau was out of line?

You see, the thing is, there’s no internal affairs department for the Bureau of Automotive Repair. There is for police, there is for the DMV, but not for this prosecuting agency under the department of consumer affairs. There’s an ombudsman, that’s it… and who writes his check?

The bureau has seen fit to railroad good shops out of this business all in the name of protecting consumers – why? Because they know, when push comes to shove, who can they turn to for help?

Well I’m here to tell you the party is over.

No more.

Not on my watch.


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